there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize