Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
