they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
