hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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