I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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