I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
