So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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