ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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