Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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