Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
