This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I could fuck to npr.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
