scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
