Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
