Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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