oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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