piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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