She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
