News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
