i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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