I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
