it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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