He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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