Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
