Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
