ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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