Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
