And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The air taste purple.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize