I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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