so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
