clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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