i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
