i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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