So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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