So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
