i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you inspire me to be a worse person
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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