You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
