Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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