is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
