I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
