dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
