I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
