You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize