let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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