could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
