it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
