i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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