Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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