Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
