his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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