we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
