Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
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Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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