Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
