..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
