my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
