when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
