there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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