your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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