hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
