SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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