come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
