I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The ass gains better be worth it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
