Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The uberlube is also flammable
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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