fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
