Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
