I got chris browned last night
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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